hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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