I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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