Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
