Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I will die if light touches me.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
