she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
