YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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