I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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