I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
