While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
