If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
