Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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