And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
