Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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