i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Im part way to drunk.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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