So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
