I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's shark week go big or go home
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
