I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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