"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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