you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
