i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Holy sore nipples Batman
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
