Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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