I think I died a long time ago.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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