drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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