This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
