btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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