Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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