I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
