1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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