My liver just broke up with me...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
