I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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