i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Terrible idea I love it
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
