Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
