How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We need to rekindle our bromance
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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