Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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