So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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