i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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