they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
