Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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