just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
