Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize