your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize