His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
