Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
