porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Randomize
