Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
