sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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