my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
