I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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