she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
