Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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