i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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