So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
