Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize