I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
