I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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