I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
