I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
