Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You work out of a Hotel?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
